Iraq: Whac-A-Mole, 2014

It’s complex.

My favorite quality in President Obama is his ability to maintain complexity instead of over-simplifying and speaking in absolutes. iraq_civil_war_2014I was accused of this by an ex-girlfriend, “You over-simplify and speak in absolutes.” She launched this at me in the middle of a drunken diatribe.

So I left her.

Doesn’t get more simple. Doesn’t get more absolute.

She won. Good for her!

This is the curse and blessing of working in advertising for 11-years: saying more with less. It’s powerful in the purview of getting your point across and selling merchandise. karl_rove_liarUnless, of course, your point of view is lying about WMD’s and what you’re selling is war.

I left advertising to become the “Karl Rove of the Left.” Luckily, I failed, having too much heart in my ability to see the world through the eyes of someone else. And a brain I enjoy using, as opposed to leveraging for the cheap-thrill of political advantage.

Mission Creep: over-simplification.

Boots on the Ground: over-simplification.

Air Strikes: over-simplification.

bush_liberating_middle_eastWe’ll be Greeted as Liberators: over-simplification with the added complexity of willful lying which escalates intention into the egregious realm of war crime.

Our role in the world isn’t to reduce cities to rubble and oust leaders who’ve been elected to replace leaders we’ve chased into holes, and hung, for lack of imagination.

I can’t believe we executed Saddam Hussein. I can’t believe we executed Osama bin Laden. saddam_in_a_holeI’d much rather have tuned-in to CSPAN and watched them in orange jumpsuits, fly fishing with Dick Cheney and raping Bernie Madoff while Ruth Madoff shops on QVC.

Call it “The Real Housewives of Gitmo.” Finally, a reality show I can get excited about watching.

Iraq isn’t our problem. Syria isn’t our problem. Russia isn’t our problem. Al-Maliki isn’t our crippled prime minister. Al-Assad isn’t our psychotic president. Putin isn’t our porn-star-in-chief.

putin_pornYes, I hate his nipples.

Yes, I hate his horsie.

Yes, it’s none of my business.

Da (which is Russian for yes you fuckin’ idiot).

It’s up to the people of Russia, in the same way it was up to the people of America to deal with our own torture fetishists, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. We got it right, after we got a lot wrong, we got it right, by electing Barack Hussein Obama.

I seem to remember another group of misguided men with small penis syndrome thinking they could liberate Americans by smashing planes into buildings. All it did was create the false camaraderie of nationalism.

investigate_911Unity is tyranny, which is an over-simplification. But true, dangerously true.

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13 Responses to Iraq: Whac-A-Mole, 2014

  1. vince says:

    Why should we stop messing around in world politics? We create governments, set up militias, train combatants and supply arms. Then we turn on them, kill them, destroy their homes and cities, put in new leads, who we soon want to oust and replace. How many months or years will pass before we have to bomb Ukraine because they got they help they wanted from Iran or China?

    Pakistan, once an “ally,” is soon to be an enemy with the “bomb.” We should just bomb England and have the Prince killed in a drone strike. That would be very interesting. Germany’s army is weak and they have a great manufacturing business (engines, turbines, hydraulics, machines etc.). Let’s get them. What happened to the spoils of war thing? We go to war and get nothing. Putin at least takes shit.

  2. Andy says:

    This is the blame America first crowd. Could it be that there are 1000s of conflicts and wars and tribal disagreements and we’re not responsible for every dictator idiot or warlord. Sometimes you have to deal with what’s there. Iran and Iraq fought a war and we were Saddams friend while the Iranians were holding hostages.

  3. Andy says:

    Oh and speaking of torture Greg I’ll link you stories of US servicemen caught and tortured and killed within minutes of capture. I never hear the left or human rights activists say a single word. Why not? Just curious.

    • Gregor says:

      I don’t hold myself down to the lowest common denominator. I hold myself up to the highest of high, and in the case of war, there is no higher benchmark for human behavior than the Geneva Conventions.

      It’s not the Bible. It’s not the Torah. It’s not the Koran. It’s the promises we make to each other, the commitments we make to each other, in reality, which call upon our better angels and reflects true morality, especially in times of war.

  4. Claudia says:

    Help me understand.. what is the difference between sending a few good men on a “mission” and stating we won’t go to war?
    I think is the same thing with a different name.

    A duck is a duck, right?.. Vince knows about being a Pato, right Vince?

    For me it’s too close to home my brothers are Military men.

  5. mike frayer says:

    Our country is so bad at foreign policy. Mostly because we don’t usually have a good grasp of world history to understand different countries frame of reference.

    But mostly what ticks me off is how we are unfailingly back the wrong guys.

    When we had hostages in Iran, we buddied up with Saddam and helped Iraq fight a war against Iran. We created Saddam only to have to take him out later.

    We were pro-Bautista in Cuba. Bautista was so ruthless and blood thirsty that he made Castro look like a sissy. Left with no other recourse the Cubans backed Fidel.

    In Vietnam, we backed the French. The French pillaged Vietnam long before we came along. Of course we had to bail out the French and go in and advise and then fight. Of course we picked a guy by the name of Ngo Dien Ziem. A guy so merciless on his own people that the people thought that Ho Chi Minh would be a better choice.

    We picked Chang Kai Shek over Mao Tse Tung.

    We picked Bin Laden over the Russians.

    I don’t mind our continual quest at world empire and domination. I just wish we’d get a better handicapper. Maybe a new cabinet post and federal department?

  6. Andy says:

    I don’t hold myself down to the lowest common denominator. I hold myself up to the highest of high, and in the case of war, there is no higher benchmark for human behavior than the Geneva Conventions.

    It’s not the Bible. It’s not the Torah. It’s not the Koran. It’s the promises we make to each other, the commitments we make to each other, in reality, which call upon our better angels and reflects true morality, especially in times of war

    Consistency is key if you’re going to be a human rights activist and if you’re going to be fair you have to start with the worst first. Are there areas in American foreign policy that are wrong?-of course but if you never mention the good and ignore the truly satanically evil regimes in the world than you are a blame America 1st Anti-American Communist. Pouring a bottled water on someone’s head with an M.D. present is America’s version of torture. We’re better end of discussion.

    See #5,6,7 in the contents. Where are all the NEVER AGAIN people? This socialist paradise operates many camps just like this one. I’ll send you a book about a guy who was one of the only escapees in history. Really bad shit.

  7. Marc says:

    Andy is a ditto head. We can’t win elections or get serious change in this country because dick heads like him only hear one side of the story. Guys like him just follow the leader no questions asked. This started in the late 80s and generations have been brainwashed. Andy is a sorry sap. It’s sad.

  8. Vince says:

    For so many years, I wanted a third party to become a voice in US politics. Ross Perot started the movement, but he was a bit of weirdo. Don’t get me wrong, I’m also a weirdo and I like weirdoes, but I think the rest of the weirdoes think that weirdoes aren’t right for office.

    So finally, a few years ago, it seemed like we might get a third party. Many of us were mad at the democrats and the republicans drove us crazy. Or, the other way around, the democrats made us crazy and the republicans made us mad and angry.

    Angry and crazy….that was me. So a new, third party seemed like something we really needed. And what the fuck did we get….the fucking Tea Party! They rolled out of their double-wides and screamed “don’t tax the rich!” They are broke and toothless, and they are fighting to protect corporation, the wealthiest of the wealthy, they want to destroy women’s rights and hang Obama.

    This was not the third party choice I was looking for.

    • Gregor says:

      Angry & Crazy, sounds the the 2014 version of the Know Nothing Party. I’m starting to think political names are born out of a deep anger, which bursts onto the national scene like a pimple.

      Russell Brand has been riling-up weirdos, lately. I’m into it, all the way into it. So into it, I’m jealous of his gig.

      I’m a weirdo. You’re a weirdo. He’s a weirdo. She’s a weirdo. Wouldn’t you like to be a weirdo, too. Be a weirdo. Drink Dr. Pepper.


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