8Andy texted, “It’s a pissed-off soldier. There’s no angle for gun confiscation. Tell the International Liberals to stand down.”
I texted back, “Shoot until you shoot everyone. I don’t care. Just stop covering mass shootings like it’s news. It’s not news. When you’re at the menu board of a drive-thru ordering a Whopper with cheese, and then you drive to the window, and there’s a Whopper with cheese waiting for you, is it news? No. That’s America. That’s what we do in America. Eat and shoot until you’re fat and dead. Praise God! Hold the pickles.”
BREAKING NEWS: the shooting at Fort Hood is NOT news.
If I have to watch another politician bow their head to offer thoughts and prayers, I’m going to barf. When I stop to think about all the wasted barf bags on board Flight MH370, the tragedy sinks in.
A tragedy is an event which occurs despite a concerted effort to the contrary.
There has been no effort: Columbine, Virginia Tech, the Dark Knight Shooting, Gabby Giffords, Sandy Hook Elementary School, Fort Hood circa 2009, Fort Hood circa 2014.
The list goes on. But why bother?
We don’t care. If we cared, we’d do something. I don’t know what we’d do, since first and foremost, we’d have to talk about it. God forbid we talk about it.
BREAKING NEWS: rights, like God, are man made.
More than a right, bearing arms is a responsibility. If you think pulling out a gun to settle a traffic infraction is a good idea, you can’t handle the responsibility. If you think walking into a Safeway packing heat is a good idea, you can’t handle the responsibility. If you think stashing a glock in your school locker is a good idea, you can’t handle the responsibility.
We’re not at war. We haven’t declared war. We haven’t listed our grievances. Who are we kidding? We can’t even spell grievances without spell check.
I don’t care about the intentions of our so-called Founding Fathers. I’m tired of debating the intentions of slave-owning misogynists. When the day finally comes for us to rise up against our government, as is foretold, mark these words: it’ll be the very day the NRA agrees it’s time for “gun confiscation.”
The NRA cares about making money, not liberty, or the right to defend liberty. They’re peddling fear, they’re peddling hate, the oldest commodity, older than scripture, older than cave drawings, older than the oldest profession.
BREAKING NEWS: the shooting at Fort Hood isn’t the lead story, in fact, the lead story is the Supreme Court pimping us out to the 1%.
It’s not Putin. It’s not Assad. It’s not Sayyed Ali Khamenei, the Supreme Leader of Iran. It’s not Kim Jong-un, the Supremely Spoiled Child of North Korea.
Another ruling for the history books came down today, McCutcheon v. Federal Election Commission, cut from the same cloth as Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission.
And by cloth, I mean poopy diaper.