Spirit Airlines, Discounting Torture

Farewell to Wisconsin.

We’ll miss the cheese. We’ll miss the cheeseheads. But we won’t miss your governor, Scott Walker. Have fun with secession. ace_hotel_nycPlease, in the spirit of a more perfect union, take Rick Perry. But leave Texas.

Farewell to Glenn Miller, the anti-Semitic white supremacist who brought pain to everyone within earshot (not to be confused with the big-band leader, Glenn Miller, who brought joy to everyone within earshot).

Glenn Miller opened fire in a Jewish Community Center, yelling “Heil Hitler!” He killed three and unfortunately, was taken alive. But he’s a dead man walking. No one wants him. Not even the white supremacists. As for the anti-Semites, who cares what the anti-Semites want? Hitler was wrong about Jews if for no other reason than the Matzo Ball Soup.

Farewell to Spirit Airlines, the discount carrier. All it takes is one experience on Spirit Airlines, and you’re committed to paying full price.

I get the feeling all of the major carriers got together to create Spirit Airlines with the express sole purpose of manufacturing an experience so unpleasant, you come away with a new-found commitment to paying full-price for the privilege of not having to say goodbye to everyone you have ever loved, quietly, inside your head, at 32,000 feet, during an ongoing and aggressive bout of horrific turbulence.

joe_strummer_mural_east_village_nycSpent the week in New York City, taking Robert McKee’s Story Seminar. I was interested in a new lecture being offering on Breaking Bad. I wanted to crawl inside the idea of episodic storytelling.

I’m not particularly interested in creating a TV Show, since I pretty much stopped watching TV. My life is far more interesting, and far more integrated, than anything I can tune-in to yell at, which is pretty much all I do, when I make the mistake of tuning-in.

I end-up yelling at the TV.

I get bored. I get overwhelmed with the boredom. TV Writers lack imagination. To say TV Writers lack imagination adds more character dimension than TV Writers deserve. bryan_cranston_door_broadwayNonetheless, I was interested in hearing Robert McKee deconstruct episodic storytelling.

Breaking Meh.

There it is, my two word review. I risked my life on Spirit Airlines, flying to and from New York City, for a two word review.

New York City was beautiful. The people were beautiful. The weather was beautiful. Broadway was a revelation, with Bryan Cranston playing LBJ in “All The Way.”

LBJ was the original Breaking Bad, twisting laws, cajoling lawmakers, belly aching to his wife about being unloved, unappreciated, in black knee-high socks and powder blue underpants, indiscriminately killing abroad while scheming at home to tidy-up the dirty work. With maniacal fever, in pursuit of the American Dream, lbj_bryan_cranston_neil_simon_theatreWalter White harnessed a genius for manipulating the periodic table in much the same way LBJ harnessed a genius for manipulating political dullards in pursuit of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Turns out, an accomplishment of monumental significance requires the skill set of a degenerate.

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3 Responses to Spirit Airlines, Discounting Torture

  1. Steven says:

    just flew spirit lat week to Jamaica. The space between the rows is too small to fit extra people. Our legs really had no place to go but into the person’s seat in front of us. When they complained, my wife basically said, “where do you want our leg to go?” plus, you’re flying spirit.
    But the best part is when we had to fill the customs report and they told us they had no pens for us to borrow. They said look to your left, look to your right, look up, look down and borrow from a neighbor. They repeated that about 10 times, like a mantra. On the way back, they had pens but kept repeating, “please give the pens back so we can use it for the next trip.” I guess the cliche you get what you pay for is true.

    “Turns out, an accomplishment of monumental significance requires the skill set of a degenerate.”

    like that.

  2. Claudia says:

    I vote for more please, and thank you.

  3. Andy says:

    The jews ordered to register is bullshit, probably an FSB operation. Go to http://www.adl.org they’re a Jewish group that track anti semitic stuff they’ve a press release saying its politically motivated. Stop being hysterical.

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