SAT: Sexual Aptitude Test

You can spend a lifetime re-litigating the past, measuring what you’ve become against what you didn’t become. You can spend a lifetime debating choices, weighing the importance of choices you made against choices you turned down. You can spend a lifetime bickering, button pushing, waiting around for other people to make choices, for the kink of pouncing.

duke_university_autonomy_womenBack when it was expected of me, I took the SAT. I got a perfectly good score. I got into a perfectly good school, the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. But I wasn’t interested.

I wasn’t into “perfectly good.”

I should clarify by saying this: my younger-self wasn’t interested in evaluating schools based on the adult proposition which purports an established hierarchy fosters a more qualitative environment for higher learning.


So my younger-self did what any imaginative child would do, he tinkered with the SAT. He gained acceptance to the University of Florida at Gainesville, which accomplished the main goal of getting as far away as he possibly could from his starting point, so he could reinvent.

Mission Accomplished.

belle_knox_duke_student_cnnYou can’t reinvent when you’re being watched, or judged or staring down the forever wagging finger, wagging at your choices, wagging at your non-choices, wagging for the kink of wagging.

In recent days, it’s come to light how the credibility of the SAT is eroding, as kids begin exerting the same pressure I did, all those years ago, letting it be known this test cannot possibly measure their youthfulness, willfulness, creativity, ambition, hunger for bigger things in life or stamina.

The only thing the SAT measures is an aptitude for following rules, which is the main characteristic of prompt bill paying students with prompt bill paying parents who put a premium on punctuality, above all else.

Money buys power. Money buys access. Money buys tutors with Winnebagos. I should know. But money doesn’t buy stamina, which, in all things, is the great equalizer.

Talent is subjective, as sure as athletic prowess is fleeting. Accolades are distracting, as sure as The Oscars are little more than a Hollywood Infomercial. duke_student_porn_twitter_revealSexuality is 1-to-1, or 2-to-1, or 2-to-1 with a dildo, depending on what you’re into. But it can all be taken away from you in the blink of a judgmental eye by the cruel intentions of the righteously challenged.

Fuck the Arizona Legislature. Fuck the Russian Parliament. Fuck the arbitrary rules of privileged adults who get-off on smashing imaginative children for no greater purpose than the theft of joy.

If you want to attend Duke by day and make porn by night, good for you. If you’re young enough, if you’re hot enough, if you’re turned-on by putting yourself out there, good for you. What’s the difference, really, between the sexual smut of schtupping endlessly on camera and the intellectual smut of chattering endlessly on CNN?

piers_morgan_belle_knoxIf you’re into being 40, long before you turn 40, good for you, old man. Otherwise, fuck it.

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10 Responses to SAT: Sexual Aptitude Test

  1. Claudia says:

    I mirrored your sentiments, and say it in Spanish: A la mierda con todo..

  2. Andy says:

    No lady should have to do porn to put herself through school.

  3. Claudia says:

    I agree that no lady should have to do porn to put themselves through school. But the key word here is “Should”. She is choosing to do porn. It’s a choice, her choice. Maybe in the eyes of others not the best decision but it’s about her life.

    We all make poor choices but if we didn’t how would we learn.
    In my former life, when I was hot and in school I could of being a stripper and paid off college, but instead I babysat.

    My choice had a consquence I’m still paying off my loan. But my integrity is still intact? Maybe? If it’s not one thing is another. We were all young once, right?
    Andy, you were young once, right? What “mistakes “or “poor choices” did you make?

    I stand by the “fuck it” attitude translated into Spanish a la mierda con todo.

  4. Andy says:

    Claudia the fact that she’s being paid doesn’t make me in favor of it. Suppose there’s a child starving in a slum and the only way for the kid to eat is to let an adult sexually abuse her? Well after all if we don’t let the abuse go on the child will starve. Is that an argument? College tuition has to come down somehow. Maybe the endowments that the filthy rich universities are sitting on could be used to loan students money. Give financial aid to the colleges and they’ll make 20 year deals with the students insured by the government. Something like that but no porn for education. I’m not a prude and I IN NO WAY JUDGE THIS WOMAN and she shouldn’t be called a whore or shamed. Too many to count on your last question.

    • Gregor says:

      There’s plenty of money for tanks. There’s plenty of money for troubled assets. But we’re short on change when it comes to higher education.

      Incidentally, higher education should be a lifelong journey, not a temporary stop on the way to cashing-in.

      I’m less concerned about Belle Knox parlaying her sex appeal into financial gain than I am about George Zimmerman signing autographs at gun shows.

  5. Babs says:

    Right on all counts!

  6. Vince says:

    I don’t believe Claudia was “HOT” when she was younger. I want proof.

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