Deconstructing Scary

As details siding with Woody Allen begin to emerge from Moses Farrow, another adopted child in the beautiful family Mia Farrow assembled over the years, I’ve heard Twittering in the Twitterverse which starts with this bombastic phrase, “The Plot Thickens.”

Sorry to say, this isn’t a plot thickening. It’s a life derailing.

A part of me wants to defend the bravery of Dylan for going public with abuse. A part of me wants to defend Woody, who seems to be living a perfectly normal married life (if there is such a thing) with Soon-Yi Previn.

More than anything else, this is a family matter.

Woody Allen did not appear to accept the Cecil B. DeMille Award. More than rolling his eyes at another vapid award show, I get the feeling he didn’t want the attention to avoid awakening this very dragon.

If everyone were honest, instead of playing the “I Know Everything About Everything” game, we’d admit we don’t know anything about anything.

Please, for the sake of your adulthood, stop treating Twitter like the Associated Press.

What’s the benefit of going public? What are we gaining by choosing sides? A better sense of ourselves…

“I’m miserable. I can’t stand my husband. I haven’t schtupped him in years. But at least I’m not married to the son of my ex-husband. At least I’m not a pedophile.”

As I look around, at all of my friend’s marriages, if I were perfectly honest, I’d have to say I don’t understand any of them. As I look around, at all of the celebrity marriages, paraded around like a PR-Stunt, if I were perfectly honest, I’d have to say I don’t understand any of them. As I look around, at the marriage of my parents, if I were perfectly honest, I’d have to say I get it.

But I love them. I guess what I’m saying is this: love isn’t supposed to make sense.

I heard the phrase “The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants.” I know it’s a famous phrase from a famous Woody Allen movie, but I can’t remember which movie since they all connect, somehow.

I could be accused of bias, since it’s obvious how much I admire Woody Allen’s prolific career. But I also happen to deeply admire the humanity of Mia Farrow, creating a home and sense of family for displaced children, out of thin air. Neither one of them are perfect. But they’ve both made the world a better place.

Woody made a lot of movies. Mia adopted a lot of kids. None of it makes sense. To me, it sounds like family.

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9 Responses to Deconstructing Scary

  1. Claudia says:

    “He doesn’t make sense, I don’t make sense, together we make sense. “This is a quote from one of my favorite movies (Untamed Heart).
    I understand the idea of love not making sense, or even worse it being blind. I can personally say that one of the reasons why I never married anyone was because I made sure I was in “control” of my feelings and emotions. I gave myself permission to be judgmental and picky for the sake of remaining safe. Safe and all alone and justifying it with” I’m happy being single”.
    The truth is that family dynamics are scary, love is scary, opening your heart .and letting it feel the good, the bad, and the ugly it’s scary shit.
    But in this case I have to admit that it is beyond scary, we are talking about an alleged sexual abuse factoring in that he married the child he adopted and raised.
    In my eyes that is not kosher.
    Love not making sense is one thing but crossing sacred boundaries is another thing all together.
    Even Holden, from Chasing Amy knew not to cross boundaries (another of my favorite movies) Mr. Allen should know better.

    • Gregor says:

      I don’t know the full story. But I do know a few facts, which caused me to step back, and wish this family could address the issues where they belong, out of the spotlight.

      Woody Allen never adopted Soon-Yi Previn. She had an adopted father, Mister Previn.

      Alleged sexual abuse is alleged, and it never went to trial. If innocent until proven guilty is still the mantra of justice, shouldn’t never went to trial mean something?

      The problem with boundaries is the more taboo, the hotter it feels to violate the taboo.

      I will acknowledge, I’d hope my adult self would handle the situation better, if I was lucky enough to be in a relationship with a remarkable woman like Mia Farrow, and I found myself increasingly attracted to her daughter, I’d leave the relationship and put the attraction behind me instead of allowing myself to decimate a family, simply because “The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants.”

      That said, I can only hope I’d handle it like that. Who knows? That’s all I’m really saying, in the end, who knows?

      The nature of dragging all this into the spotlight, especially when Dylan was 7-years old, makes the whole thing, on all sides, too complex for me to take one side, based on an assumption, placed conveniently into my head, by the media.

      Whenever the media is involved, with lawyers in the background, you have to ask yourself who’d benefit the most by the unforgiving glare of the spotlight?!!

      • Claudia says:

        “Alleged sexual abuse is alleged, and it never went to trial. If innocent until proven guilty is still the mantra of justice, shouldn’t never went to trial mean something?”

        The thing is that people literally get away with murder based on technicalities. That is how defense attorneys make their money. In this case the fact that he was not charge with anything, or the accusation was unfounded does not mean it did not happen. Right?

        I’m not taking sides. I’m not even seeing it as a black and white issue. I know that gray areas exist in almost every situation.

        Another technically, although Mr. Allen, did not adopt Soon-Yi Previn he did raise her and that for me is still crossing sacred boundaries.

        although, in life we can never say never because you never know.

  2. Andy says:

    http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2014/02/woody-allens-advantage-how-the-law-protects-celebs-accused-of-abuse/283595/

    25 years mandatory Federal time for anyone who rapes children-period end of story! There’s no rehabilitating these degenerates, consider Michael Jackson. After the first allegation any sane falsely accused man would have immediately closed Neverland Ranch and if he still wanted to work with children would take extreme caution to avoid even the slightest accusation of pedophilia (Like paying 4 sworn off duty FBI agents to be with you at all times when you were entertaining kids so there could no question you were Kosher. And after his death surprise surprise Michael had paid out 32 million in hush money to children he raped. And yes the parents of these kids should be indicted along with any staff or entourage that had any knowledge or suspicion of wrongdoing. This is a crime that sends shockwaves through our society. It’s well documented that heavy drug users, alcoholics, violent criminals often have sexual trauma in their past. And often the molested become the molesters and the cycle of horror continues.

    As for Woody I never like any of his movies except Matchpoint. I thought it was a masterpiece and saw it twice in the theater. Yesterday I threw the DVD and Blu-Ray in the trash, right where Woody belongs.

  3. Mister C says:

    He is only an ameteur pyschopath..Here are some accomplished ones..And at least he has written amazing movies and given hours of entertainment.Does not help Dylan much, but i’m sure looking at Woody Allen and with his mind he must have had a difficult childhood and he like many could not break the cycle of abuse or whatever perversions he picked up one thing i like about bush is he has managed to shut the fuck up..He is just happy to get away with
    stuff. Woody Allen should do the same..Here is some more really mature perversions..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ocih62dSJR8

    • Gregor says:

      The laugh track behind President Obama announcing a planned attack on Syria says it all. I happen to believe in gallows humor, sometimes I think the only way through the overwhelmingness of violence and heartbreak is to laugh at the bleakest of things.

      That said…

      Flag Draped caskets aren’t funny. “Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran” isn’t funny. There’s nothing funny about President Bush looking for WMD’s at the Associated Press Dinner.

  4. Babs says:

    We will never know the truth. This is she said-he said. And it is being played out in public instead of a shrinks office. How awful! Time for them all to move forward and because of their wealth all parties can get help and move on unlike most abuse victims. And the only truth we know is that Mr. Allen helped raise the young woman he married!! That is truly horrific! For that alone, he should be condemed! This is celebrity crap voyerism at its worst!

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