Going to law school is like having root canal.
But instead of extracting a dead root, law schools extract your conscience. Want to make a fantastic living? Here’s what you do: go to law school, have your conscience yanked.
Take for example Filing A Motion.
It sounds important: “Filing A Motion.” When in fact, it’s nothing more than paper-pushing. A senior associate writes a note, a junior associate passes the note to the courthouse and the firm charges $550 per/hour for 11-minutes of paper-pushing.
Take for example An Appearance.
It sounds important: “An Appearance.” When in fact, it’s nothing more than a lawyer standing in front of a judge, with the unfair advantage of having familiarity, since lawyers spend their days shuffling their feet in front of judges while the rest of us in the real world scramble to make an honest living by creating jobs where payroll is actually earned by doing something of substance. Lawyers sit around in the swiveling chairs of courthouses and the firm charges $550 per/hour for 3-minutes of chit-chat, leading to the magic word, “Continued.”
It’s the hustle, the big hustle: “Continued.”
But keep this in mind: you don’t gain access to the bank without acceptance in the club. Take for example Pro Se.
It sounds important: “Pro Se.” When in fact, if you have the mistaken assumption there’s justice in the rule of law, you’re on the way to being hounded by a collection agency. There’s nothing which inflames the hemorrhoids of a judge more than representing yourself in court, Pro Se, against a trained lawyer, Esquire, who knows how to properly kiss a judge’s fat fucking ass.
It’s a club. And you’re not in the club until your pesky conscience has been extracted.
Ted Cruz is a lawyer. Chris Christie is a lawyer. Hillary Clinton is a lawyer. Barack Obama is a lawyer. Lately, after reading a blowhard article written in the Harvard Law Review entitled “Limits on the Treaty Power” by Ted Cruz, after watching a 2-hour press conference where Chris Christie danced around taking responsibility for using traffic lanes on the George Washington Bridge as political payback, after pausing to consider another 2-terms of Clinton Fatigue, after pausing to consider the exhausting 2-terms of Barack Hussein Obama, the Mediator-In-Chief, I’ve been asking myself this: are we best served by people trained to exacerbate the utterly inane?