Chris Christie was asked what he would do if he found out his son was gay. Would he change his position on Gay Marriage?
Chris Christie said he’d give his son a hug. And then tell him, “Daddy thinks marriage is between one man and one woman. Now run along and spend a lifetime chasing the shadow of Matthew Shepard, you little faggot.”
This was supposed to be a debate for the Governorship of New Jersey, the big show. But the questions were little more than lobs.
Who cares what Chris Christie thinks about Gay Marriage? Who? Seriously. Who?
I’d like to hear what Chris Christie thinks about obese politicians sending a signal it’s perfectly acceptable to let yourself go, and put such an enormous strain on your body, it’s only a matter of time until you put an enormous strain on the health care system.
I’d like to hear what Chris Christie thinks about Fat Marriage, since last time I checked-in with God, a few weeks ago, when I was in Rome, God let me know he was opposed to Fat Marriage.
As for Gay Marriage, God said talking about Gay Marriage was as irrelevant as talking about Inter-Racial Marriage. “Love is love,” God said. “But Fat Marriage is an abomination.”
I’d like to hear what Chris Christie thinks about shutting up, doing his job and getting this particular point across to his party of nitwits: Affordable Care is a Human Right and it’s time to drop the schtick of “ObamaCare Is Worse Than Slavery,” and implement a process for effectively delivering Affordable Care to the people who voted for President Obama, not once, but twice, with majorities bigger than Chris Christie’s waistline.
I’d like to hear what Chris Christie thinks about his waistline. And debate the actual size of Chris Christie’s waistline.
If he thinks it’s none of my damn business, and I’m guilty of Fat Shaming, then I’d like give Chris Christie a hug. And tell him, “Gregor thinks being fat is a choice. Unlike being gay. Unlike being homophobic. Unlike being a nitwit. Now run along. Oh, I’m sorry. I mean waddle along. And spend a lifetime chasing the shadow of Richard Simmons, you fat fuck.”