Shutdown Wank

Michele Bachmann is into idea based porn instead of sex based porn. Her audience gets-off on watching her on-camera, proving what a gigantic hard-on she has for “freedom.”

The shutdown isn’t a negotiating tactic. It’s a circle jerk.

Affordable Care is the enemy, since we can’t afford to care. We’re broke. All our equity is tied-up in war profiteering.

Ted Cruz is into idea based porn instead of sex based porn. His audience gets-off on a white guy being on-camera, for 21-hours, proving the white guy has bigger balls than the black guy.

The shutdown isn’t about fiscal responsibility. It’s a reach around.

The real threat is no longer from abroad. The real threat is from within, since hatred is more profitable when it’s traded domestically.

Vladimir Putin is too reasonable. Bashar al-Assad is too reasonable. Hassan Rouhani is too reasonable. They listen. They advocate a position, aggressively. But in the end, they’re grown-ass-men with enough self-confidence to find common needs and interests instead of playing a child’s game: tug-one-out.

Newt Gingrich is into idea based porn instead of sex based porn. His chubby chasing audience gets-off on watching him on camera, moaning and groaning like it’s the end of the world.

He’s the kingpin.

You’d think CNN would know better. You’d think CNN would aspire to more. You’d think. Instead, they’re nothing more than smut peddlers, gunning for a niche market that gets-off on Newt Gingrich spitting in Lady Liberty’s twat before jamming in his big idea.

If the metaphor is unimaginative, it’s nothing compared to another fucking shutdown.

Let’s defund the presidency, current and former presidents. Let’s defund the congress, current and former members. Let’s defund the Supreme Court, current and former justices – sorry, Sandra – but someone has to pay the sticker price for Bush v. Gore.

No more salary. No more pension. No more lifetime health care benefits. Let’s put the people at the top in a position to truly understand the people they’re supposed to serve.

They don’t get it. They don’t get us.

We’re two paychecks away from moving back in with our parents. We’re one diagnosis away from bankruptcy. We’re burnt out on war. We’re burnt out on gay bashing. We’re filibustered to death. We’re intellectually, and emotionally, shutdown.

I’m actually in favor of the shutdown. I’m no longer interested in negotiating terms and conditions. I’m no longer interested in finding common needs and interests. I’m no longer interested.

I’m pointing my dick at CNN, waiting for Newt’s close-up, the money shot.

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11 Responses to Shutdown Wank

  1. Andy says:

    How about this shut the beast down until they hammer out a balanced budget. No checks for anyone until the we have fiscal sanity. What is it 14 trillion I’ve stopped watching.

    • Gregor says:

      Deficits are falling. So deficits aren’t the problem. The problem we’re having is with the pretenders who want to pretend they’re not personally responsible for the policies which took us from record surpluses to whopping deficits.

      Raise Taxes. Cut Spending. Follow the lead set by California. And repeal the 27th Amendment which ensures members of congress get paid, no matter what.

      Members of both houses currently make (or steal, depending on how you look at things in lieu of the shutdown) $174,000.00.

  2. Andy says:

    I’m taxed enough. I don’t want any more of my god dam money going to those bastards in Washington.

    • Gregor says:

      That’s how California did it. I watched Bill Maher talk about it on his show. I was knocked away.

      Amazing what you can do when you stop wasting time arguing with Tea Party Lunatics and actually get down to the good business of running things like a grown-up.

  3. Robert says:

    Andy, Gregor is incorrect: the pace of deficit growth has slowed BUT it is still growing and now approaching $17,000,000,000,000 (that’s 17 trillion)

    non-essential spending needs to be slashed… check out http://cagw.org/ to learn about all the waste, fraud and abuse that we are paying for with our taxes.

    Gregor, California is still a huge mess financially and they already have a 14% state income tax rate! You might want to find another example to hold up.

    http://cagw.org/

  4. Vince says:

    Read this:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/30/congressmen-drinking_n_4020023.html

    The congressmen are all drunk while working (working on trying to stick it to the black man in the WHITE’s house) on huge problems with potentially devastating consequences.

    If one of my employees was drinking on the job, it would be adios amigo. I have been offered a coctail at lunch hundreds of times and never took the easy offer to relax in the middle of work.

    How the hell can this be allowed? Why do these assholes never have a single consequence?

    Al Gore recently wrote that our democracy has been hijacked by special interests of huge corporations. They figured out how to game the system. The game doesn’t work without willful participants. Get those drunk, wilfull participants out of control. They are out of control.

    Occupy Congress.

  5. Andy says:

    Come on Vince tell the truth you’ve never had a cocktail before closing arguments??? What happens if you have to wave you’re arns for more than 10 seconds I would would imagine you’d need something. As for the Republicans I can’t blame them for drinking. They have to work next to outright Marxists for a living that would drive anyone to drink!

    • vince says:

      Andy,
      I don’t have to do closing arguments anymore. I run a six office, 50+ employee firm. I have a litigation team that does closing arguments. I am the CEO, managing partner and I handle the business of the firm.

      I’m sure you drink while you sit at home peddling toilet paper over the phone to Stop & Shops in Idaho.

      Further, I waive my arms for 10 three minute rounds in the rink all the time. Any time you want to give it a try, I’ll fly up and drive over to your trailer park and go a couple of rounds with you, buddy.

  6. Robert says:

    Andy: the total debt is now close to 17 trillion (17,000,000,000,000). Gregor is incorrect, the deficit is NOT falling, the rate of increase is slowing BUT it is still increasing.

    In order to decrease all the waste, fraud and abuse associated with excessive government spending you should review

    http://www.cagw.org

    Citizens Against Government Waste

  7. Andy says:

    Quite a bragger! Nice try but you’ll have to do 100 times better to intimidate me. And I don’t sell toilet paper retail strictly commercial.

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