Focus Off Focus

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler should be ashamed. In calling for Neil Patrick Harris to twerk, they degraded men. I demand an apology, as the second sex.

MIA should be ashamed. In giving the Super Bowl audience the finger, she offended a family friendly audience that was trying to teach children the importance of crippling men with violence masquerading as sports. I demand an apology, as a pussified sports-lover.

Barack Obama should be ashamed. In admitting he’s afraid of his wife, which is why he quit smoking, he’s encouraging quitters to quit. The purpose of addiction is to stick with it, despite the evidence. Oh, and in the case of cigarettes, the purpose of addiction is to make Big Tobacco rich. I demand an apology, as a failed advertising hack who once made an egregious day-rate working on Lucky Strike.

Forget about guns. Forget about chemical weapons. Forget about rampant homophobia in Russia. Forget about the horrific mall shooting in Kenya. Forget about 42 irrelevant votes in the house of representatives by the GOP to de-fund affordable care.

Republicans don’t care about affordable. Republicans don’t care about care.

Forget about holding bankers accountable for walking the world economy to the brink of collapse. Forget about holding The Bush Administration accountable for torture. Forget about childhood obesity and holding Diet Coke accountable for being linked to depression. Forget about 42 irrelevant votes in the house of representatives by the GOP to de-fund affordable care.

Republicans don’t care about affordable. Republicans don’t care about care.

Forget about raising taxes to pay for the war in Iraq. Forget about raising taxes to pay for the war in Afghanistan. Forget about soldiers coming home from war who need help with lost limbs, lost minds, lost lives. Forget about 42 irrelevant votes in the house of representatives by the GOP to de-fund affordable care.

Republicans don’t care about affordable. Republicans don’t care about care.

Louis CK should be ashamed. Denying his daughters the right to have the stupid thing the other stupid kids get to have, cell phones. In parenting his children with a present mind, he’s waking-up the rest of us who are content with texting and driving, texting and walking, texting and shopping, texting and eating, texting and standing in line, texting and whacking-off.

I demand an apology, as a pornhub.com zombie.

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4 Responses to Focus Off Focus

  1. Claudia says:

    “texting and whacking-off” I love it all but this line was the best. Great piece! Like always, I’m a fan.

  2. Vince says:

    Mahatma Gandhi in 1906, back when he was merely Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, was working as an attorney in South Africa at the age of 37. His face is iconic with people my age mainly because of an Academy Award-winning biopic that was one of the most acclaimed and well-known films of the 1980s. He was the face of nonviolent social change in the world.
    Anyone my age can draw a rough Gandhi from memory — bald, round glasses, emaciated, white shawl. And while I would never dream of comparing Gandhi to Lady Gaga, well … you can see once again the power of iconography. His goal was to become a symbol, so he made himself into a symbol, with a distinct look that could not be forgotten. He created a character. The same as Colonel Sanders, or Batman, or Macho Man.

    That’s not to make light of what he accomplished at all. The same means can be used to achieve different ends, and the game is the game.

    “And you either play or you get played, motherfucker.”

    ——————————————————————————–

    Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/13-photos-that-shatter-your-image-famous-people-part-2_p2/#ixzz2fq1FilqC

    • Gregor says:

      I love getting played. I also love playing the game. And kudos to Lady Gaga, she figured it out, on a big, big level.

      I aspire.

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