Chipotle Pure Lack Of Imagination

KFC has engineered chicken without feathers. KFC has engineered chicken without feet. It sounds heartless. Until you consider this: the 47% are happy to eat, anything.

Chipotle has created a magnificent advertising campaign designed by CAA, the best of the absolute best, creative wizards skilled in the ways of tugging at our hearts to flip the switch from rational to emotional. It’s a laundry list of movie magic.

Edgy Music, Check. Haunting Vocals, Check. Sad-Eyed Scarecrow, Check. World Of Candy Colors, Check. Cache of Fiona Apple’s Unmistakable Voice, Check.

“All Natural” is all natural in name only. “Farm Fresh” is farm fresh in name only. And please, in the name of Whole Truth, enough with Whole Foods, enough with “Organic.”

1% of the top 1% can afford “Grass Fed.” Woody Harrelson and Willie Nelson are Grass Fed. But it’s entirely different!

1% of the top 1% of the tippity top 1% can afford to be “Gluten Intolerant.” Trust me, all of the families currently living in the Hell that is the Middle East, caught-up in wars and civil wars and holy wars, caught-up in dictators and kings and religious zealots masquerading as prime ministers, caught-up in a world gone nutter butters, and not the good kind with a cream filling.

Trust me when I say they’re trying to get to work safely, get home safely, pay their bills (like the rest of us), and eat dinner in peace.

Max’s Deli gets legit all-natural-young-local chicken & turkey from Harrison Poultry Farm. There’s no government oversight. There’s no regulations. You know why? I roll my eyes at oversight. I roll my eyes at regulations. You know why? I get-off on being honest. I get-off on being legit.

I’m no banker. I’m a chef with pride.

Magnificent advertising campaign aside, Chipotle is part of the problem: leveraging the emotional relationship Fiona Apple has earned with her audience over the years to generate brand integrity by proxy.

It’s fake.

In context, call it “Pure Imagination.” But out of context, where the main character is a sadistic corporation instead of a sad-eyed scarecrow, call it what it is: fake.

You know what matters? Integrity. You know what matters? Consequence. You know what matters? Heart.

There is no card to “Get Out Of Jail Free.” In fact, it’s the attitude, you know, the attitude of “Get Out Of Jail Free.” It’s ruining America.

I’m no lobbyist. I’m a chef with pride. And I’m fixing for a fight.

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6 Responses to Chipotle Pure Lack Of Imagination

  1. TMV says:

    TMV has hired Bart Baggett, who has become much more than an internationally recognized handwriting expert. He has also expanded his expertise into writing style and voice.

    Bart told TMV that after carefully studying prior writings by Gregor and Jojo, the above post was in fact written by Gregor and Jojo has falsely claimed authorship.

    It begs the question: if the bagel smashing brothers will lie to us about this, what else are they capable of?

  2. joey says:

    i agree TMV i think Greg is guilty of over editing my writing:)

    • Gregor says:

      Sorry. The hardest part of writing is editing. It usually takes me one week. This time around, I had one day. No complaints from me. But typical to the comments section, and your personality, there’s nothing down here besides button pushing.

  3. me says:

    47 % are happy to eat anything…

    and satisfied with their appearance and health. Sad, but there’s not a lot you can do. Information about food scandals aren’t a secret any more.

    Movies, such as “Food Inc.” 5 years ago, are no longer so shocking and not making such an impression. As a consolation, we have the other part of society, who cares about what goes into their stomach. They try to eat healthier and educate their kids.

    Bringing up a new food conscious generation.

    I hope that growing up with smart parents, they will avoid fast foods. The choice always belongs to us! …although we have less and less access to non-modified food. It’s horrible, what the young generation gets in school canteens.

    The truth is that eating healthy isn’t cheap. Some people can’t afford it, some don’t want to.

    One more problem: mass production. As long as you are a small, local business you can roll your eyes at the system. When you begin to act on the national or world scale, you are part of this. As a producer you want your profit maximized at the lowest cost . Business always wins!

    My hope is that suddenly, the entire Chicagoland will recognize, that in “Max’s” is the best and the healthiest (and it is, right?

    :)

    And they’ll pour it all over Highland Park, you will roll your eyes again, and chicken & turkey from Harrison Poultry Farm will stay all natural, no matter what.

    best regards :)

  4. jojo says:

    We are not the best and not the healthiest.

    We certainly may give in to a national audience someday in the name of corporate greed.

    I hope to work towards the left of eating right projects but if Seattle Sutton decides to buy my heathy menus and mass produce my ideas, well…

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