Imagine Joe Biden Proudly Singing, “You Better Work!”

The Bulls can’t win. Watching them try has been painful. Not just for the injuries. But for the awareness you can’t ask someone to suddenly take on a role they’re not made to fill.
Hoopin JoJo
Listen, I run a restaurant with my brother. He’s a back of the house guy. I’m a front of the house guy. We have our roles. Joey’s the superstar. I’m the utility player. Without him, you couldn’t run the restaurant. Without me, you could hire Boozer, scrub off his tattoos, grab an apron and give him English lessons.

Incidentally, that’s what we’re doing at the restaurant. We’re giving classes to a couple of our managers who struggle with English, but are amazing on the floor. I’d call them high-level team players, unlike me. I’m a water boy making an owner’s salary. I’m the Mitt Romney of the restaurant business.

Speaking of spoiled white guys who’ve been handed everything and should shut the hell up, the polls are only close because Mitt’s white. Otherwise, he’s totally incompetent: as a candidate, as a conservative, as a man. What kind of a man needs to hide in a cult? I don’t care if it’s the cult of God or the cult of Guns.

Speaking of unstable fanatics who should lose the right to bear arms, Ted Nugent has gone cowboy hat crazy. There’s a Post-NRA Interview floating around of Ted Nugent where he starts screaming, literally screaming, “I’m a nice guy who takes terminally ill kids fishing. What do you do? Why don’t you tell me what you do? Tell me. TELL ME!!!” Something like that. I didn’t bother transcribing, word for word, because it was so idiotic, I was afraid his words were contagious.

When you start going on and on about what a great guy you are, screaming in a cowboy hat, either you’re on stage in a horrible regional theater rendition of “Danny and the Deep Blue Sea,” or you’re fucking nuts. Listen, pal, the right to bear arms isn’t God Given. It’s a lie. “God Given” is a lie.

Allow me to present…Greg’s Official Ever-Growing List of Clever Lies: Separate But Equal, Compassionate Conservatism, Fiscal Conservative, Nuclear Deterrence, Managed Care, Diet Coke and God Given.
Greg Morelli, Utility Player, on the Basketball Court
The right to bear arms is a privilege granted by men with parchment. God had nothing to do with it. In fact, God was out bird watching while The Founding Fathers busied themselves by putting on powdered wigs and scribbling on parchment with quills. The Founding Fathers were drag queens. Take that in.

Speaking of which, on the extreme right, they get JT Ready. On the extreme left, we get RuPaul. If you had to choose, what would it be? A psychotic mass-murderer who so desperately wanted to suck a dick, he shot himself in the mouth and swallowed every last drop of death’s unforgiving salty load? Or a drag queen supermodel?

It’s no secret which way Benjamin Franklin liked to swing.

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15 Responses to Imagine Joe Biden Proudly Singing, “You Better Work!”

  1. Vince says:

    Lies continued: Clean Air Act; No Child Left Behind; Clean Coal; Trickle Down; Fight em’ over there; Pro Life; Job Creaters;

    • Gregor says:

      Enhanced Interrogation Technique, Budget Shortfall, Happy Camper.

    • Milena says:

      Nobody loves Ted Nugent more so than Ted Nugent. Nobody thinks Ted Nugent is the gaeetrst and most compassionate human being to ever walk this earth more so than Ted Nugent (probably thinks he is Jesus in his demented mind). Nugent is a HAS BEEN who mostly attracts small crowds at gun shows. Nugent endorses Romney NOW since there are no strict conservatives left because he HATES OBAMA even more. Romney can keep is endorsement and ride with it. So much for Romney backbone.

  2. steven says:

    Site looks great..
    in case you only watch the networks ron paul won two more states over the weekend las vegas and maine..

    republicans in all out civil war.romney got causght handing out fake ron paul slates and some girl caught him and announced it during the convention

    http://www.salon.com/2012/05/07/the_ron_paul_plot_thickens/singleton/

    • Gregor says:

      Glad to see Ron Paul is still out there, fighting for God knows what. The Press never gave him a chance. Not sure if it’s the fault of The Press, or the candidate himself. Thanks for the the kind words about the site. Oh, and the link.

      • Satish says:

        JobIden (this is, weirdly, how a lot of the media prnocuone that kook’s name): “Hey, you guys [BARED TEETH GRIN], and gals, too, of course, lay off, wouldja? Yuh can’t winnemall. I’ve got an awful lot on my mind these days.”Joe the Plumber: “Such as?”Jobiden: ………J.P.: “SUCH AS?”Jobiden: “Oh, uh … such as memorizing the combination to my Whitehouse locker and how to say, “Hello” in Spanish, that’s Holuh [GRIN] yuh know, and … and stuff.”J.P.: “Any reponse to Lula’s blaming his self-imposed socialist economic misery (how many times has Brazil been bailed out by the IMF?!?) on “white people with BLUE eyes?”Jobiden: [peeks into the mirror on his desk][mutters under his breath] “He just might have a point.” [ALOUD] “Ahem! Not ALL the Democrats have blue eyes er… I mean… I’d have to say he’s confused. The Smurfs were blue with WHITE eyes.”

      • Antonio says:

        I certainly don’t blame rubeps for flogging the idiotic Rosen comment. Dems will do the same with Romney’s comment that mothers on federal assistance should be forced to put their children in day care while they experience the “dignity of work”. A comment by a dem operative, which was quickly criticized by both Obamas and Biden, doesn’t compare to the actions of a dozen or so states that have affected a womens’ right to choose, receive medical care and assure fair pay.

  3. Da Badass says:

    News Flash: Las Vegas is no longer a state, it’s a mind set treatable by short intervals of reality.

    • Greg Morelli says:

      “Short Intervals of Reality” cure pretty much anything, besides the irrational desire to “Hope for the Best.” Which is why gambling has created a gigantic industry masquerading as a mirage of lights in the desert. Remember, it’s not what you know. It’s who’s ass you kiss and how much of yourself you’re willing to compromise for the illusion of success.

    • Khushboo says:

      Seems Ron Paul is the favorite of many in Nevada but the fix is in for Romney just as it has been in so many steats where somehow he is getting a lot more delegates (partly by REcounting votes!!!) than he probably deserves. Can’t stand to watch too much of this live feed. Theme is everyone wants to represent Ronald Reagan even though he would never be nominated in the 2012 GOP convention because by the REICH-wing standards of the Tea Party, he would be TOO LIBERAL! Love how they call Obama a Socialist even though most are too ignorant to really know what socialism is all about.

  4. rgv says:

    great bulletin! keep up this awesome stuff

  5. Cody says:

    I’ve been watching the live-feed of the Nevada GOP Convention and it’s been unevbileeable! Corruption and incompetency everywhere! Right now they think a box of ballots is missing. Once they count the ballots, they will make sure the vote totals the number of delegates. If it doesn’t, then it’s a revote! Seriously NO REPUBLICAN SHOULD BE IN CHARGE OF RUNNING ANYTHING!!!!! THEY’RE INCOMPETENT FOOLS!

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