“Marker!”

In the late 70’s, when Greg and Joey first discovered their peckers, and the wonder of ejaculation, I was making a few bucks in the home building business. A Junket Company got my name. They invited me to Vegas. It changed my life.

They paid my airfare. They arranged a free room. I got complimentary food, complimentary golf, and most important of all, a line of credit: $5,000.00.

Now, you might ask, “How did this change your life?” I’ll tell you how. I got to yell, “Marker!”

I was a big deal. I was greeted by the pit bosses as Mister M. I liked it. I liked it a lot. It was fun being Mister M, the guy at the table who yelled, “Marker,” then watched, in slow motion, as the pit boss brought forth a piece of paper to sign. All it took was the signature of Mister M. Voila…chips appeared. Best of all, the pit bosses put on this show in front of all the impressed eyes at the table.

It was intoxicating.

Here’s a little back-story, to give you perspective. I hadn’t been to Vegas since the mid 60’s, when my father-in-law took the family. My brother-in-law and I were both given $200.00 to use at the tables, with the promise not to use any of our own money for gambling. Remember, back then, I was an engineer at IBM. $50.00 was a week’s wages. I had more cash than I knew how to gamble with for the entire trip. I was set.

Or so I thought…

The first day, we both lost $200.00, all the money we brought with us, plus secret-money we begged off my mother-in-law. I spent the rest of the trip exploring Vegas with my brother-in-law and mooching free drinks at the pool.

Fast forward to the late 70’s.

Mister M is a Vegas Frequent Flyer, going on junkets, attending tennis tournaments at Caesar’s Palace, a big shot on New Years Eve. I loved it. I loved all of it. But nothing made me happier than yelling, “Marker!”

At home, I quietly paid down my Marker, slowly, keeping my losses from Babs. What a place for adult playtime. I had the life. I had it all. Then came the fatal trip.

A little too much drinking, a little too much Mister M-ing, and of course, way too much yelling, “Marker!!!!” Needless to say, I blew thousands, many thousands, a soul crushing amount of thousands. It stopped being fun. I was through being Mister M. I went back to being Frank.

The next time I went to Vegas was to meet with investors in the mid 80’s. I limited my betting to $5.00. Guess what? I walked away a winner. I learned my lesson. I learned all of the freebies were the opposite of free.

Last year, Babs took the family to Vegas for my 70th birthday. On the very first day, immediately after arriving, bags still unpacked, I found myself in the casino with my youngest son, Joey. We sat at the blackjack table. Him at one end…me at the other. I was betting my usual $5.00. I was content. Not sure why I decided to look over at Joey. I probably shouldn’t have. I definitely shouldn’t have.

On the table, my youngest son was already betting a pile of chips. More than a stack, it was a pile. I was in shock. How could he even think about putting that kind of money on the table?

Joey has never learned the key lesson. He will never learn the key lesson. Why? I’ll tell you why. My youngest son is like most folks, when it comes to their failures they take no humility, when it comes to success they look at it like a Kardashian.

Vegas taught me everything in life is a gamble; so only use Vegas for entertainment. I have to admit, when I was in Vegas with Joey, he had more good runs than bad runs. Unfortunately, what do you think he did? I’ll tell you what. He forgot all the bad runs.

One memory stands out…

It was my 70th birthday, so the new Mister M put a $25.00 chip on each Roulette Number until it added up to my age. He won. He won big. He gave me all the money. But Mister M wasn’t happy until I lost it all playing craps.

This year, Mister M’s luck hasn’t been so good, more bad runs than good runs. He’s on his way back to being Joey. But I doubt he’ll learn the lesson. Most folks don’t learn until they hit rock bottom. And the truth no one tells you is there is no rock bottom because you can always go deeper in the hole.

Trust me.

Anybody who was around in the fall of 2008 should have learned what happens to our economy under Republicans. Forget about the shrinking middle class, forget about the lost jobs, forget about TARP, forget about the war, forget about the 2nd war, forget about the casualties, forget about the staggering national debt, forget the surpluses left by the last Democrat in the White House, forget about how unsettling every single day felt when the world was on the brink of depression.

That’s right, I said depression. Forget the Kardashians. Remember how close we came to losing it all.

To be Brutal, to be Frank, we have more Joey’s in this great nation than we have Franks. This coming election should be a slam-dunk for President Obama, a man described by Admiral William McRaven, leader of the Special Ops Team responsible for taking down Bin Laden, as the smartest man in the room. But I’m willing to make a bet: thanks to all the Joey’s in the U S of A, this election will be close.

I’m only betting $5.00. “Marker!”

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23 Responses to “Marker!”

  1. Carl says:

    Gotta play big to win big. Got take risks to make a fortune. Playing it safe never made anything interesting. Chicks love a man with big bucks.

    All the lies passed down to keep us at the tables. Well, except the last one. Chicks to flock to guys with big wallets.

  2. jojo says:

    I’m won 8 grand in Vegas about a year ago. I lost 3 grand on my honeymoon while my soon to be x-wife was waiting for me in a huge bath tub loaded with bubbles. To learn or not to learn, that is the question :love:

  3. Laura says:

    Chicks might flock to guys with big wallets, but women LOVE building their lives along side of a man. Look at Michelle Obama. What an inspiring life she’s put together with her husband. You might want to reflect on that, Carl. Or not…

  4. Sean says:

    I’d double-down on the bubble bath. :love:

  5. bf says:

    What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas with your money. The Republicans give the same hope as Vegas.

    • Adriana says:

      Mexicans rule the cocaine trade and have the tuoghest and richest cartels. They have billions of dollars. They do not need a fucking nickle. The USA is sending them 5.2 billion dollars to fight the war on drugs. Do you know what they are going to do? Steal the money so they can send their sons to Yale, Harvard, Stanford, etc. Then they will give the USA a thumb to suck on it.

  6. Anonymous says:

    only a certain type of chick. And who knows how long she’ll stay around? Besides most guys don’t have to worry about it because they will only have medium wallets, if their lucky!

  7. Andy says:

    COMING OUT CRAPS ELEVEN ANY SEVEN WORLDS HORNS AND YO’S GET YOUR BET WHILE THE DICE ARE IN THE MIDDLE LATE BET IS A NO BET! I dealt at the Majestic Star Casino for 2 years dice and blackjack. Michael Jordan used to come in you want to see markers 50k at a time up to ten markers in one night.

  8. Carl says:

    The chicks I’m talking about you only want for a while. It’s fun turning them over. Nothing like a new honeydue. The “women” like Laura are the moms of the world. They serve a function too. They are boring though. The chicks I’m taking about don’t want to build a life, they want to have a blast and build a hard on. “Women” like Laura don’t care too much about the hard on.

  9. Carl says:

    Next time you post, Mr. Andy, have a point. It makes it much more fun for the reader. By the way, did the casino send you in when MJ was winning so you pass your bad luck on to him; 50k a clip?

  10. Andy says:

    Its a myth that casinos change dealers when people are winning.

  11. Gregor says:

    I never knew that about you, Andy. That’s cool, really cool. I can only imagine how much you must learn about human nature after all those nights at The Craps Table. Certainly a much “higher” education than an MBA. I’d love to hear more about it. We should grab lunch sometime soon, catch up on things.

  12. jojo says:

    Not at all prop8 Andy they always switch it up so the dealers and the players don’t buddy up. Still smoking gigantic cigars?

  13. Vince says:

    I have personally been the victim of the “dealer swap.” Once, they were popping dealers out every 10 mintues to bust my run. I complained to the pit boss but he said it was over his head.

    Gambling is for suckers.

  14. Gregor says:

    Gambling is for suckers and so is blogging. But it’s fun, if you keep things in perspective. Plus, as I write this, a pretty cocktail waitress is serving me in nothing but a burka.

  15. Andy says:

    Dealer swapping is pure Bullshit. The only way the Pit Boss would pull a dealer is If and its a big IF the dealer was not shuffling correctly or was in on some bullshit scam with the player. Otherwise the odds are so stacked against you its only a matter of time before your toast. Only someone who’s dealt can understand how rigged this shit is, BlackJack 54-46 against you if you’re playing by the book (no one does or there’s always an Asian that will fuck the table up). If you can learn basic card counting you have a chance of turning the odds on the house a little bit. Next time you’re at a casino and you don’t see a lot of facecards (10′s or Queens Kings Jacks and Aces) bet the ranch that’s the only gambling advice I give to anyone going to Vegas to play BJ. Otherwise play hard and fast know going in what your willing to win, lose, and what you’ll settle for. I.E. you go in with $500 and say either I’m doubling my money or losing it all fine but don’t get to $950 and end up losing the $500 chasing that $50. Craps is a little different cup of tea. First stay off all prop bets (Hard 6.8,10,4, Horn Horn highs Worlds any Craps Yo’s) they’re all bullshit the house is shaving %18. What does this mean? Simple if I was playing a card game with you staight up for $5 a hand
    %68 of the time I’d win and %32 you’d win. Sound like fun? The Place bets 4,5,6,8,9,10 is the same shit the house is %18 in the advantage. Don’t even get me started about the field horrible odds (except if the 4 and 10 pay triple then the casinos edge is so small it becomes a statistical dead heat basically an even bet play the field all day). So now the best bet in the the house the odds on the passline. You’ll notice when you’re at a casino you’ll see on the placard 10x odds or 50x or 100x or whatever. What this means is for every dollar you put ont the passline (lets say 100x odds) you can put 100x behind it. So a 10 bet on the passline you can $1000 behind it. Now for the kicker-THE ODDS PAY TRUE THE HOUSE DOESN’T SHAVE ANYTHING THEY PAY YOU TRUE ODDS IT’S A 50/50 BET!!!! In laymans terms this means on that bet of $5 with $1000 behind the house’s edge is $5! That’s it five mother fucking dollars! That’s the only way I gamble about once every 6 months or so. Last Chef Blo-Blo be very careful with gambling large amounts of money. I’ve seen fortunes get pissed down the drain at these sewers. People who had millions in trust funds were driving cabs after the Elgin boat opened. Play around fine if it gets to be a habit cut it off and kill it. My aunt went bankrupt from this stupid shit. Anyway now I’m blogging I’ll explain the Dont’s in a future post if anyones interested.

  16. Andy says:

    losing the $500 chasing that $50. Craps is a little different cup of tea. First stay off all prop bets (Hard 6.8,10,4, Horn Horn highs Worlds any Craps Yo’s) they’re all bullshit the house is shaving %18. What does this mean? Simple if I was playing a card game with you staight up for $5 a hand
    %68 of the time I’d win and %32 you’d win. Sound like fun? The Place bets 2,4,5,6,8,9,10 is the same shit the house is %18 in the advantage. Don’t even get me started about the field horrible odds (except if the 4 and 10 pay triple then the casinos edge is so small it becomes a statistical dead heat basically an even bet). So now the best bet in the the house the odds on the passline. You’ll notice when you’re at a casino you’ll see on the placard 10x odds or 50x or 100x or whatever. What this means is for every dollar you put ont the passline (lets say 100x odds) you can put 100x behind it. So a 10 bet on the passline you can $1000 behind it. Now for the kicker-THE ODDS PAY TRUE THE HOUSE DOESN’T SHAVE ANYTHING THEY PAY YOU TRUE ODDS IT’S A 50/50 BET!!!! In laymans terms this means on that bet of $5 with $1000 behind the house’s edge is $5 that’s it five mother fucking dollars! Seriously that’s it $5! That’s the only way I gamble about once every 6 months or so. Last Chef Blo-Blo be very careful with gambling large amounts of money. I’ve seen fortunes get pissed down the drain at these sewers. People who had millions in trust funds were driving cabs after the Elgin boat opened. Play around fine if it gets to be a habit cut it off and kill it. My aunt went bankrupt from this stupid shit. Anyway now I’m blogging I’ll explain the Dont’s in a future post if anyones interested.

  17. Andy says:

    TRUE THE HOUSE DOESN’T SHAVE ANYTHING THEY PAY YOU TRUE ODDS IT’S A 50/50 BET!!!! In laymans terms this means on that bet of $5 with $1000 behind the house’s edge is $5 that’s it five mother fucking dollars! Seriously that’s it $5! That’s the only way I gamble about once every 6 months or so. Last Chef Blo-Blo be very careful with gambling large amounts of money. I’ve seen fortunes get pissed down the drain at these sewers. People who had millions in trust funds were driving cabs after the Elgin boat opened. Play around fine if it gets to be a habit cut it off and kill it. My aunt went bankrupt from this stupid shit. Anyway now I’m blogging I’ll explain the Dont’s in a future post if anyones interested.

  18. Gregor says:

    Am I interested? You bet! Explain the “Don’ts.” Please. And thank you.

  19. Alice F. says:

    Please don’t make us wait so long between Brutally Franks. Thank you. :love:

  20. bf says:

    Something most folks don’t know about me is I am an engineer with a masters in Operations Research (Statistics). Andy is mostly right with his gambling advise. You can beat the house if you watch (not count) the cards AND have staying power. You must be able to wait for the run that will make you your killing and then pack up and leave. Craps is a even game on all pass, nopass, come and nocome bets. The only bet the house has an edge on is twelve craps on the no pass. that bet is a push so the house has about a 1/36 edge ONLY on the nopass, nocome bet. That’s it. The house also pays TRUE odds on the line when you back up your bets but this bet DOES NOT, I repeat DOES NOT have better odds than the pass/come bets. This has to be true because you can bet either way (Da). You just need staying power to wait for your run.

  21. bf says:

    My stragtegy is bet the pass or nopass or bet the come or nocome with the same size bet for three times. The nice thing about the nopass is you win all your bets with a seven and loose your bets one at a time if a point is made. The pass is just the opposite you win one bet at a time and loose all with a seven. I replace my bets as I win or loose bets with new bets off the line and drink Dewars because there is no decisions required. I just have to have staying power and be able increase my bets when my run comes. Also, since Italians are famous for changing sides (3 times during WWII) I go from pass to no pass when points are made or lost.

  22. Sung says:

    All about respect??? I woednr if he’s going to have some respect, and stop hunting/angling and killing natures creatures?He should learn to have respect for all creatures, enjoy their beauty from a distance, take a picture, and remember the experience. Leave the f$*king antlers on the animal, not on your wall!!!

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